all new episode guide

     series one
               episode 1 - good luck father ted
The first ever episode of Father Ted sees the arrival of Funland, the world's most cataclysmic travelling funfair, to Craggy Island. Funland is set up in The Field (it isn't really a field but it has less rocks in it than most places), however Ted has unknowingly arranged to meet a film crew there for an interview for 'Faith of Our Fathers'. In the confusion of the funfair, Dougal meets the film crew who mistake him for Ted, and he clutches his chance to tell the world his innermost thoughts on life, religion and the spider baby. good luck father ted
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 21st April '95
  • This episode was originally intended to be the third in the series, instead being replaced by The Passion Of Saint Tibulus.  It was decided that this episode was more suitable since all of the main characters are nicely introduced to us

               episode 2 -  entertaining father stone
The most boring priest in the world (top ten anyway) has come to stay on Craggy Island with Ted and Dougal, who, try as they might cannot get rid of him. Ted tries everything to get Father Stone to go and in the end resorts to praying for divine intervention. Unfortunately not even God seems to like Father Stone and strikes him down with a bolt of lightning in an untimely crazy golf incident. entertaining father stone
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 28th April '95
  • The title of this episode is a reference to the film 'Entertaining Mr. Sloane'

               episode  3 -  the passion of saint tibulus
The Passion of Saint Tibulus - the most blasphemous film this century has been banned everywhere apart from Craggy Island. Bishop Brennan decides it is up to Ted and 'Forest Gump' (Dougal) to protect the moral interests of all the residents of Craggy Island. Sent to the cinema, placards in hand, Ted and Dougal do more to promote the film than prevent people watching it and the result is the most popular film ever shown in Craggy Island. the passion of saint tibulus
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 5th May '95
  • It was originally intended that we would find out what Jack did to be exiled in Craggy Island in this episode.  It is revealed in the book 'Father Ted the complete scripts' the Jack dressed up as a nun to get into an all girls school

               episode 4  -  competition time
It's time for the All Priests Stars In Their Eyes Lookalike Competition and Ted has resolved that he will not go dressed as Mother Teresa again. He has come up with the idea of going as Elvis this year and the only problem is that so have Jack and Dougal. Ted can't afford to lose to the gang from Rugged Island (who look quite fetching in their dresses) and in the end comes up with 'the three ages of Elvis'. competition time
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 12th May '95
  • While filming this episode, the writers almost let Mrs. Doyle's forename slip but decided that they should keep it a deep dark secret.  If you're wondering what her name actually is, then it's revealed in the scripts book (page 52).  I don't want to spoil the fun for anyone and tell you that her name is Mrs. $*!@ Doyle

               episode 5 - and god created woman
Ted's vows come under self-scrutiny when he falls for Polly Clarke, a famous authoress of romantic novels. The only problem is that Polly does not feel the same way and decides to join a group of nuns; nuns which no longer idolise Ted after a lukewarm welcome and super-short mass. and god created woman
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 19th May '95

               episode 6 - grant unto him eternal rest
The end is nigh for Father Jack after he overdoses on floor polish and is declared medically dead (although Ted takes some convincing).  Ted and Dougal stand to inherit a fortune from his will but only one thing stands in their way - Jack won't stay stay dead long enough for them to collect it. grant unto him eternal rest
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 16th May '95
  • This episode was the first to be written and was used by the writers to present the show to Hat Trick (the company that produced Father Ted for Channel 4)

     series two

               episode 1 - hell
It's holiday time for the gang from Craggy Island, but it turns out to be the holiday from hell. Dougal fails to bring anything with them and so their entertainment is limited to a tree stump, a magic road, an over-exitable youth group and watching the kettle boil. Jack appears to be the only one who actually enjoys the holiday when he falls into the sea and is saved by some lovely girls.
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 8th March '96
  • While filming this episode, the caravan toppled over during the riverdance scene and the actors involved (Graham Norton and the youth group) were trapped inside and had to climb out through a window

               episode 2 - think fast, father ted
A fund-raising raffle is arranged in order to mend a leaking parochial house roof. The grand prize, a car (which was generously donated by Bishop Brennan on behalf of the diocese) is slightly damaged by a cyclist on the road, and greatly damaged by Ted trying to fix it. Ted must find a way to raise the money needed and obtain a new car. Just remember - it's not unusual for the people who run a raffle to actually win it. think fast, father ted
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 8th March '96
  • The crew went through three cars during the filming of this episode
  • The dancing priest in this episode was inspired by an actual real-life dancing priest from Northern Ireland

               episode 3 - tentacles of doom
Three bishops pay a brief visit to Craggy Island in order to upgrade a holy stone to a class two relic. Ted wants the parish to appear normal to the outside world and unfortunately, this involves Jack to join Ted's re-education programme and Dougal to keep his big mouth shut. The visit isn't a complete failure - at least only one of the bishops is unhappy with the time they spent on Craggy Island. tentacles of doom
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 22nd March '96

               episode 4 - the old grey whistle theft
Scandal and crime hits Craggy Island when a whistle is stolen - by a priest! Meanwhile Dougal is led astray by local delinquent priest, Father Damo and manages to get Ted into trouble with the police and then completely embarasses him as usual. the old grey whistle theft
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 29th March '96

               episode 5 - a song for europe
Eurosong fever hits Craggy Island due to the ever ongoing rivalry between Ted and Father Dick Byrne. Ted and Dougal find it harder to write a song than they first imagined and eventually produce 'My Lovely Horse'. Things do not go to plan however and they end up reverting to plan B - and still win!
You may want to visit the my lovely horse tribute page for more information.
a song for europe
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 5th April '96

               episode 6 - the plague
The Parochial House becomes infested with rabbits just in time to coincide with Bishop Brennan's arrival. Bishop Brennan (who just happens to be terrified of rabbits) has come to the island after a rash of sightings of Father Jack sleepwalking in the nude. Things come to a head when Jack's nude sleepwalking brings him (and the rabbits) into a compromising situation. the plague
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 12th April '96

               episode 7 - rock a hula ted
Man-hating rock star Niamh Connolly visits the island and buys the parochial house. Well actually Dougal just gave it to her. Ted is meanwhile peresenting the Lovely Girls Competition and gets mistaken for a perverted deviant. Niamh decides to give them the house back but the lads have to make some compromises first. rock a hula ted
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 19th April '96
  • Niamh Connolly was inspired by Sinead O Connor who oddly enough is a priest herself now

               episode 8 - cigarettes and alcohol and rollerblading
Lenten vows prove to be difficult to keep for Ted, Jack and Dougal. In comes Sister Assumpta, part of the sadistic Mattie Hislop group, to punish the lads. They end up being punished daily and sacraficing the things they love dearly. Ted endevours to get rid of the crazy nun and an incident with an Easter egg proves to be the devine intervention they hoped for. cigarettes and alcohol and rollerblading
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 26th April '96
  • The Matty Hislop who is heard of in the episode is based on a real person called Matt Talbot who used to torture himself in order to repent for sins in earlier life

               episode 9 - new jack city
Father Jack is once again afflicted with a severe case of hairy hands and ends up in Saint Clabberts. Jack is replaced by Father Stack, a priest who listens to jungle music late into the night and likes to drill holes in the wall for fun. Ted dreams of getting rid of Stack and for once it is Dougal who saves the day when he forgets to dissinfect Jack's armchair. new jack city
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 3rd May '96

               episode 10 - flight into terror
A routine trip to a holy shrine ends in near-disaster when the aeroplane runs out of fuel. Dougal is of course to blame and Ted of course fixes the mess. Using the holy stickytape purchased earlier Ted climbs onto the wheel of the plane and reattatches the fuel line to the reserve. Only one thing - WHAT WAS HE DOIN' ON THE FECKIN' WHEEL? flight into terror
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 10th May '96
  • This episode was inspired by Graham Lihehan's (one of the two creators and writers) fear of flying
  • Pauline Mc Glynn (Mrs. Doyle) is one of the (very heavily disguised) nuns on the plane throwing paper at Ted

               christmas special - a christmassy ted
Ted and Dougal get lost in a lingerie section in a department store, which later turns out to be Ireland's biggest lingerie section. They meet with some other priests who are also 'lost' and Ted leads them in an escape bid. His reward for doing so is a Golden Cleric award. Ted dreams of bigger and better things for himself but a phoney priest, Todd Unctious throws a spanner in the works. a christmassy ted
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - Christmas '96
  • A woman went into labour after laughing so much at Mrs. Doyle falling off the windowsill in this episode

     series three

               episode 1 - are you right there father ted?
Ted is mistaken for a racist when a local chinese family mistakingly view him indulging in a spot of racism while cleaning the house. In several attempts to redeem himself, Ted does more to dig himself further in than to clear his name. The highlight of this show however has to be the sight of 'Heir Jack' - complete with nazi uniform. are you right there father ted?
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 13th March '98

               episode 2 - chirpy birpy cheap sheep
Ted bets on the King of The Sheep '98 competition and puts the entire annual heating allowance on Chris the sheep to win. However there is a beast loose on Craggy Island which has terrified Chris to such a point that he's only a shadow of a sheep. Ted endevours to nurse Chris back to health because as a priest he has an intuitive understanding of sheep. All is not what it seems in this high profile sheep competition and it doesn't take Ted too long to figure out what's going on. chirpy birpy cheap sheep
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 20th March '98

               episode 3 - speed 3
After Ted gets the latest milkman fired for delivering more than dairy produce, Dougal takes over his round. Pat Mustard, the milkman in question decides to retaliate by putting a bomb on the milkfloat. It is up to Ted to save Dougal, but another mass doesn't sound like the best idea in the world! speed 3
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 27th March '98

               episode 4 - the mainland
A trip to the mainland proves to have disasterous consequences when Ted has a brief encounter with Richard Wilson (aka. Victor Meldrew), Dougal nearly starves to death, Mrs. Doyle is imprisoned and is later joined by Jack and Father Noel ends up under a big pile of rocks, all leaving Ted wishing he'd never went in the first place. the mainland
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 3rd April '98

               episode 5 - escape from victory
Ted's chances of beating Dick Byrne at the All Priests Over 75's Five a Side Football championship, are severely reduced after the best player in the team dies and Jack overdoses on Dreamy Sleepy Nighty Snoozy Snooze. Ted however finds a way round this completely ludicrous situation and all looks well until Dougal messes it up again. escape from victory
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 10th April '98

               episode 6 - kicking bishop brennan up the arse
This episode sees the welcome return of Len Brennan, everyone's favourite bishop. Ted has to complete his forfeit from the previous episode and (as the title suggests) has to kick Bishop Brennan up the Arse. Will he go through with it? Will Bishop Brennan retaliate? Well, the short answer is, yes! kicking bishop brennan up the arse
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 17th April '98

               episode 7 - night of the nearly dead
Mrs. Doyle is elated to discover that she's won a chance to meet her idol Eoin Mc Love. Eoin is the latest thing to hit the pop scene (think Daniel O' Donnell). During his visit to Craggy Island, Eoin is stalked by the Island's senior citizen population and envied by Father Dougal. Oh yes, and he has no willy. night of the nearly dead
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 24th April '98

               episode 8 - going to america
Ted's big chance to finally escape Craggy Island comes in the form of a place at a Californian parish. Does he have the heart to tell the rest of the gang that he is leaving however? Or will the problem be that in the end, the opportunity of a lifetime is not all it seems? going to america
          facts about this episode
  • Originally aired - 1st May '98
  • The end of this episode was changed following the sad death of Dermot Morgan.  After Dougal says 'forever and ever and ever ....' at the airport we saw a montage of clips from each episode of Father Ted.  However the real ending which was replaced by the montage showed Ted beside Kevin (the suicidal priest) on the ledge of a high building.

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This Father Ted Episode Guide is copyright Derec Thompson 1999 and may not be copied or published without permission.